Shabbat Shenanigans

Shalom my friends,

Random observations from a pagan in the Holy Land ...

Reputedly the best location in Jerusalem, the view from my place is pure magic. So grab yourself a coffee, join me atop this walled city of ancient white stone, and I'll point out the sights. Directly behind us is Jaffa Gate and, turning yourself counter-clockwise, you'll see Mt. Zion, the Armenian quarter, the Jewish quarter, the Mount of Olives, the Garden of Gethsemane, the Western (Wailing) Wall, the Temple Mount with the shining Dome of the Rock, the Arabic quarter, the Christian quarter, and yep, 30 meters to our left, is the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Religious folly aside, it is a spectacular and beautiful city.

Herman Melville and Mark Twain once stayed at this hotel ... the oldest accommodation in the Old City. Did you know that the name for Moby Dick's Captain Ahab comes from an old Israeli king? He was the biblical dude married to Jezebel. The coffee conglomerate, Starbucks, as you know, derives its name from Captain Ahab's bean-loving bosun, 1st Mate Starbuck.

As I mentioned the other day, this place (country / city / hotel) is ground-zero for zaned zealots. At first, I found these religiously demented 'doom and gloomers' a bit disturbing. They polluted the place with their dark brand of passionate pessimism. As I believe each person is entitled to their own philosophy, I'd listen politely as an endless stream of kooks proselytized, ranted, and spouted their idiocy. Then it went too far. Mis-reading my tolerant compassion as an encouraging sign for possible convert, the Bible-thumping Christian fanatics pestered me, invaded my solitude, and warned me that if I didn't find the path to Jesus I would burn in hell. Pardon the vanity but they seriously fucked with the wrong man. I've never liked the saying, If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Since these loons won't acknowledge different strokes for different folks, I've decided that if you can't join them, beat them. 'Operation Intellectual Jihad.' The heated arguments that have since ensued are both highly entertaining and surprisingly fun.

My favorite sparring partner is a nasty old Catholic crone from Canada. She's pretty smart and plenty spunky but the ridiculous history of the papacy just makes it too easy. To challenge and amuse myself, I'm trying to convince her of the legitimacy of Sobek - the Egyptian crocodile god. My thesis revolves around the amygdala, the reptilian nucleus of the limbic system, the oldest structure in our brain. She just shakes her head, insists the Pope is infallible, reminds me that I'm going to hell, and wishes me a goodnight. God bless her. Sobek too.

- tending the lotus ... Kev